Ever Been Wounded? How I went from the Pit to the Palace.

~ Kelli Espiritu-Romero ~ Leave a comment

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It is interesting to me that after 23 years of serving the Lord, that I am finally admitting that this thing called “ministry” has it’s ups and downs.  “Pit to the Palace” is a workshop that I lead at conferences designed to help kid ministry workers navigate their way back to the palace in times difficulty, disorder, pain, trails and suffering.

I have not only experienced life in the pit personally and survived, I have the privilege of networking with Kid Ministry workers across the nation and praying with families in my own church who have spent their fair share of time residing in the pit of pain.

What I have come to know these past few years that many of us, kid ministry workers,  suffer in silence and in isolation.  It was only after sitting with friend after friend, that my brothers and sisters in Christ become transparent regarding their trials.  I was shocked that they too experienced the pit caused by pain.  I concluded many hid their problems and wore a mask called, “I’m okay.”  We are ashamed of our circumstances and feel that we will be judged harshly if we admit to having problems.  After all, we are church volunteers or are on staff and we need to be an example to those we serve.  I lived that lie for for over 15 years.  I allowed my trials to confuse my mind about the power that our Lord Jesus Christ possesses.   I didn’t comprehend what it meant to have faith as I hoped in people and my unique strengths rather than our Lord.  I limited God’s divine power and forgot what Hebrews says about faith:

Hebrews 11:1 “ Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

When we are in the pit, what do we pray for?  I know I prayed… relief from the pain.  What keeps us functioning?  Hope.  There’s a motivational quote that states, “A man can live about 40 days without food, about 3 days without water, about 8 minutes without air, but not for 1 second without hope.”

The Lord blessed us, gifted us, gave freely to us, examples of people in the Bible who had great faith:

  • Enoch – taken up to heaven without dying.  He was known as a person who pleased God.
  • Noah – built a boat by faith and saved his family from the flood.
  • Sarah – she believed by faith that she was able to have a child in her old age.
  • Abraham – offered Isaac as an offering.
  • Isaac – it was by faith he promised blessings for the future of his sons Esau and Jacob.
  • Moses – by faith he chose to suffer, left the land of Egypt and parted the Red Sea.
  • Rahab – she gave friendly welcome to spies and was not destroyed with the people in her city.

There are many more examples of God’s power and promises all through scripture.  I was too busy trying to survive, protect, and function to notice and truly claim His promises and to appropriately apply them to my life.  So…..God allowed me to experience a life storm and ultimately my residence for a couple years, was in the pit of pain and suffering.  What I now know about storms is that though they are fueled by strong winds, dark skies, even thunder and lightening, they don’t last forever.  “…there is joy in the morning.” Psalm 30:5

Bottom line, when something difficult comes at you, realize that your faith is being tested.  It is only through the test is how you’ll learn to depend on our King.  Each test serves to help us deal with the next test or trail, if we abide and follow the Lord’s instructions.

“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while if need be you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 1:6-7

Author, Debbie Alsdorf’, inspired me and helped me focus on His purpose in my life in her book, Faith Dare.  She bullet points the following statements about trials that kept me focused on the Lord’s promises and helped me inch and claw my way out of the pit and back into the palace:

  • Trials are tests of what you believe.
  • You are to rejoice in the fire of the trial.
  • You are to believe that God knows about the test or trial.
  • You are to believe that God is with you in the test or trial.
  • You are to believe that God has the power to change you through the test or trial.
  • You are to believe that since God is good, all his dealing with you is good – even in test or trials.

If you are in the pit today, whether the pain was self imposed or you are a victim of innocent suffering,  I pray you can realize that there are others like you,  that have their own Pit to Palace story.  You are not alone.  Jesus’ life is the prime example we could all glean from.  Allow the Lord to minister to you right now and help you surrender all your burdens. Starting today and everyday pray for healing.  Keep asking the Lord what is it that He is trying to show you through this, who do you need to forgive and ask Him to remind you of the many promises in His word.  God allowed this in your life for a heavenly reason.  What is happening to you, the Lord is working through you. Once you accept that fact, you’re one step closer to the palace.

Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”  Hebrews 13:5

If you had full anonymity…would you agree that ministry is hard?

If you had full anonymity…what else would you share with me?

Why does anonymity make a difference?

You do have anonymity and you have a safe place in Jesus.  Turn and fully surrender to Him. You’ll find your way back to the palace.

Here’s the link to Debbie’s book “Faith Dare”

http://www.design4living.org/store/index.php?act=viewProd&productId=43

Need an Event to Connect With the Families at Your Church?

~ Kelli Espiritu-Romero ~ 1 Comment

Do you remember when you received a prestigious award at school or at work?

Do you remember when you got your first bible?

I’m banking on the fact that most of us can remember our awards much easier than when we got our first bible. The contrast of those events is something Group Publishing helped me capture and share with parents that their kids journey with Christ should be celebrated just as much as a graduation, end of season soccer party or birthday.  It’s a milestone, a biblical milestone!

In December, I held our 2nd “First Things First Bible Celebration.”  Our 1st graders were given their first bible in front of the entire congregation  A few weeks prior, a parent/child orientation was held to teach the 1st graders the significance of having their very own copy of God’s Word. On Sunday Dec. 8th, families were brought up on to the stage and Pastor Mike prayed over the bible recipients and their families.  It sure did make our 1st graders feel special and most of all, they felt supported by their church family.

As a Kid’s Director, I have found myself praying for ways that I can get to know my families more intimately.  I must say the unexpected blessing that developed through sharing this milestone with my 1st grade families was a unique… connection.  That connection benefited me so surprisingly.  Not only did the families receive a blessing, but I totally grew closer to some of the families through this event.  The 2nd graders who got their bibles last year got to relive the moment as they watched the celebration this year.  One of the things I love about ministry is that we have the privilege to be a part of a child’s story.

I highly recommend the curriculum “Family Faith Celebrations” by Group Publishing which covers other biblical milestones such as baby dedications, baptisms, salvation and more.  The idea came from Pastor Brian Haynes book titled, “Shift.”  I just wanted to share a “win-win” ministry idea.  Check it out and if you decide to implement this at your church, let me know how it worked out for ya.

Here’s the link to “Family, Faith Celebrations” Set

http://store.grouppublishing.com/OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=3156785&section=23306

Here’s the link to “Shift” by Brian Haynes

http://www.amazon.com/Shift-Takes-Finally-Reach-Families/dp/0764438980

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Is it just me? Or are parents delaying putting their babies in the nursery?

~ Kelli Espiritu-Romero ~ 2 Comments

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I’ve seen a decline of newborns to 6 month olds in our nursery ministry in the past few years.  The trend I’ve observed is millennial parents are delaying putting their precious ones in the nursery.  I witness posts like this, “Susie’s survived her first day in the nursery,”  and Susie is almost 5 months old.  Or, on Instagram,  a pic is posted of Adam’s first day in the nursery and Adam is full on standing. #timeshavechanged   We have a nursery area and a toddler area in our building and as I walk through on Sunday mornings, our nursery area is always empty. Which led me to pause, realize and identify this trend.  I see our volunteers playing with the babies rather than holding them because the infants are no where to be found.  Why do I care?  Why does it matter?  Well, my heart goes out to the parents of these precious ones.  When I hear of a 5 month old’s first day in the nursery, I wonder,

  • How were the parent’s being fed for the past 5 months?

In all honesty, as I “keep it real,” it’s easier to worship and take in a message without holding a baby and worrying about it’s needs.  Being a new parent is a time one can truly benefit from worship and hearing the Word of God.  It’s a time to be refreshed and ministered to.

  • How can our Nursery be a safe place for families to feel comfortable leaving their children?

I had to reevaluate our nursery.  I added a “Nursery Coordinator” to add and show value to this age group.  I had to be honest with myself that I needed help.  I just wasn’t giving the nursery the attention it deserved.  Miss Anna has been a welcome addition as she keeps me up on the latest and greatest in the nursery scene.  She’s a proud “MiMi” to two toddler granddaughters. Most importantly, she ensures week after week that we have ample help and enlists & trains volunteers that love our babies as if they’re their own.  As I revisited our nursery system I realized we were missing a major safety net. Fingerprinting!  We will live scan all our nursery workers beginning in 2014. We already fingerprint those who serve in the 2’s to 6th grade age groups. (If our volunteers get live scanned while their child is in the nursery…it makes it easier, one less step, for them to become Sunday school teachers.  Haha!)

  • How can our Nursery communicate, “Come on in! We’ve been waiting for you?”

I updated the nursery with soft play furniture and replaced the 20 yr old rockers with safe, comfy, upholstered gliders. Our seasoned volunteers were especially pleased.  We also bought mini gliders for our toddlers so they can watch Veggie Tales in style.  In order to help keep our carpet clean, we provide booties for volunteers to put on their feet or over shoes.  We use Netflix now and we longer have to search for lost DVD’s.  Did you know that parents these days don’t use the microwave anymore to warm up bottles?  We provide a bottle warmer we bought at Target.  We put a mailing label sticker on diapers letting parents know who changed it and at what time.

There’s much more I could discuss and I will as I enjoy my blogging journey in the future.  For now, I’m curious about your nursery ministry.  Is it just me? Or are parents at your church waiting to put their babies in your nursery and if so, how are you adapting?

Welcome!

~ Kelli Espiritu-Romero ~ Leave a comment

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I hope my experience of two decades of the inner workings of the Pre-Covid church and the experiential wisdom I have currently, as we sit in the middle of the pandemic, will help you embrace the new methods that we’re forced to use in order to minister to our beloved families.

This blog is intended to help you and I build a solid foundation as described in 1 Cor 3:11-13

For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if any man builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each man’s work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire itself will test the quality of each man’s work.…

I’ve built with hay and straw and have suffered greatly.  This new chapter in my life will be focused on building with precious stones.  As we abide in Jesus, the quality of our work will endure the fiery tests that will come our way, this side of heaven.

As a survivor of Narcissistic Spiritual Abuse, I intend to pull back the curtain and let others see what Narcissistic Abuse looks like.  In this pandemic, the stress has amplified and placed a spotlight on the abuse that resides within the church buildings.  It’s been ignored far too long and swept under the rug like a dirty family secret.  Along with KidMin posts, this blog is dedicated to give glory to Christ and share how He’s brought me through seven years of Spiritual Abuse.